Where Did I Lose You?

Well, if you are reading this, I guess I have not lost you...but through the journey of being an Entrepreneur I have lost a number of people who seemed to have stopped in to see what the ride was all about. When they left they provided all kinds of advice and constructive criticism as well as detailed descriptions of how I was not living up to my potential. I tell you, this journey is not for the weak at heart.

So, while on vacation I chose to bring one of my favorite books that I have not yet completed; The Artist's Way I started reading it from the beginning again. It is always interesting to re-read a book after a couple of years have passed because you come to it as a whole new person with new perspectives.

Anyway the point of the book is that we have all been taught to suppress our creativity and dreams in favor of being practical and realistic. The book is a lesson on recovering or discovering your creativity. Taking risks. This company has been my creative expression as well as one risk after another. The psychology that has been driving me to this point has been a bit of a recovery and discovery process of finding who I am, what I am capable of and what I want without all of the distractions of what is expected of me and what other people want me to do. Of course it is much more complex than that. I have to meet a market demand (sell) and deliver on promises made, and of course I have to shed all of the old habits and thought processes in order to get to the point where I can be successful and live up to my potential. All of this is a journey and yet people have come to me at various points only to expect that I am at a different point on my path.

I found a section early in the book that explains the path of such a journey really well. I am happy to note that by examining my current work and now established processes I can recognize that I am at the final stage. I am also happy to be able to recognize when I was at each of these other stages and to know there wasn't anything "wrong" with me, it was just the standard stages I needed to go through. I may have spent longer in some areas than in others, but I suppose it is where I needed to be for the time.

Julia Cameron writes;

"Working with this process, I see a certain amount of defiance and giddiness in the first few weeks. This entry stage is followed closely by explosive anger in the course's midsection. The anger is followed by grief, then alternating waves of resistance and hope. These peaks-and-valleys phase of growth becomes a series of expansions and contractions, a birthing process in which students experience intense elation and defensive skepticism.

This choppy growth phase is followed by a strong urge to abandon the process and return to life as we know it. In other words, a bargaining period. People are often tempted to abandon the course at this point. I call this a creative U-Turn. Re-commitment to the process next triggers the free-fall of major ego surrender. Following this, the final phase of the course is characterized by a new sense of self marked by increased autonomy, resilience, expectancy, and excitement - as well as by the capacity to make and execute concrete creative plans. "

Throughout this journey I have also been criticized for how much I share on this blog, for "wearing my heart on my sleeve." But I have always said that I share what I am experiencing on this blog so that others who may be experiencing the same things will not feel alone. Also because as I find a way to get through the obstacles I am encouraged to think that my experiences might inspire others to move past their own obstacles. I have no desire to be a "brand image" as others have suggested I need to be, I am simply human trying to live up to the potential I was born with while overcoming the various obstacles that are there to make me stronger.